We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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