i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
