Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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