but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
