we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
