The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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