i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
