cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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