There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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