I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
