When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
