i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
