I am puke
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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