I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
