Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
