he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
