Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
