Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
