I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
