brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm going to jail i love you
Small penises have feelings too.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize