The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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