Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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