worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
