he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
