were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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