is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
