But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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