Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
