I wish I could teleport
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
