Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's get the cat blown out
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
