well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The air was thick with penises
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
