If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
