An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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