I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
