Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
