He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
