Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
