Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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