apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
