It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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