508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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