I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
