shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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