got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
