At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
