There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
