Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
