Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do vagina's smell?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
