Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she told me i tasted like america
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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