Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
