david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
