First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
