Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
