It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
