we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
