Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
