Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
