I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
