the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
