You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
