dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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