apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
